The Somewhat Bumpy Road To An Award-Winning Self-Published Book Cover Design!

We were honored and delighted to have "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" receive the award for "Best Book Cover Design" in nonfiction from The Book Designer in June! There were lots of terrific entries. I am especially grateful the book received the honor, because I am not a graphic designer, just a girl on a budget. It was basically my first "solo flight" in book cover design. (I had a lot of help on my first book cover for "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" from my very talented graphic designer friend Lucy Thacker). While I really like how the "Men & Women" cover turned out, I must confess it took quite some time to get there! Fortunately, I had valuable input along the way. Here, I will take you on my clumsy journey to the final design! By the way, for my fellow authors, I have found thebookdesigner.com to be a FABULOUS resource for expert advice and inspiration!

First, a little background. While I wrote "Men & Women's Genes" with my hilarious brother Bob Nery, sharing the writing 50/50, it was agreed I would handle the cover design solo. Since ours is a book of humor essays taking a balanced and seriously tongue-in-cheek look at the differences between the sexes, we wanted a cover that instantly conveyed "humor" and would appeal to both men and women. My research (and my gut) told me more women would buy this book than men. Still, because it's a perfect gift for a guy's birthday, anniversary, Christmas or Father's Day, men needed to feel comfortable being seen with it. I set to work using InDesign to try to come up with something.

Initially, I thought the cover should "jive" with the cover of my first book. (We girls love for things to match!) The cover of "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" features the illustration of the "ungirdled woman" created by my very talented artist friend Vicki Bruner who graciously allowed me to use it both for the banner of this blog and the cover of the first book. I thought another of Vicki's illustrations (and the same font) would be a great way to add cohesiveness to my "line" of two books. Vicki did the following illustration for a line of greeting cards we produced together. I thought it would be ideal. Hence, my first rough mockup:

Yeah. I know. While it conveys humor, it's too "cutesy" and not polished enough. Back to the drawing board. Here's the second try with a stock illustration from iStock:

To me, this design was less "cutesy" and cleaner than the first design, but it almost looks like it's a clinical guide to behavior in the sexes. Not the message we wanted to send. We chose the title "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes," because the differences between the sexes seem to be innate. We also thought the play on words "getting into each other's jeans/genes" would be fun. Why not use an illustration with jeans? Perfect!

OK, the third time was not the charm. While it's headed in a better direction, I realize I need help. I ask good friend and graphic designer extraordinaire Liza Gibhardt if I could pay for two hours of her time to help me polish it. She reports her schedule is too overloaded to take on another project at the moment, but she is happy to take a look as I go along. Off the bat, she suggests making "and" an ampersand and "Men & Women" smaller in the title. Why didn't I think of that? She also suggests marrying the symbols for male and female together in a design to see how that works. Both she and Bob suggest a photo of a couple with their hands in each other's jeans (genes). Since a cover shoot is not in the budget, I go back to looking through stock photos. "You'll get there," Liza encourages. 

First I consider Liza's idea about marrying the symbols for male and female. In trying to "flush out" ideas, I realize the position of the toilet seat provides more downs than ups in the male-female relationship. It's gotta be THE hot button issue between the sexes. I try this idea: 

Nope. Gotta "can" this one! Too "Spencer's Gifts." Not what we're going for. OK, I'll look at photos of men and women getting into each other's jeans (genes).

Hmmm... the photos I'm finding are a little too "hot" for my purpose. They would make an intriguing cover, but seem to convey romance over humor. Also, the subjects in the photos I'm finding are too young. We don't want to turn off older readers. (I guess there's not a big market for photos of topless and frisky old folks.) We need something that appeals to couples of all ages. I also need something tamer that conveys humor. I know! I'll see if I can find a tamer couple in jeans and use thought bubbles to convey their different points of view!

Better. But still not loving it. It's also race-specific which I don't like. I'm also not liking all the type under the title. I need to think of something not age or race-specific and something cleaner. I play around in InDesign a little more. 

OK, I LOVE this! Much cleaner, not race or age specific, and I think it conveys humor. It reminds me of something I've seen before... I know! It kinda reminds me of the cover designs on some of Jen Lancaster's popular humor books for women. I'm kinda proud of myself. "This is a great cover," I think. I send it to Bob and Liza. Bob replies, "It looks like a baby shower invitation." Next I hear from Liza. "I like it. You're getting closer. What does Bob think?" I tell her he thinks it's too girly. "You're almost there. You've got this," says Liza. OK, I am not as slick as I thought. I try to "butch up" the design:

I don't like this at all. Too much going on. Sigh. Back to the drawing board again. I am thinking of perhaps using a stock illustration now instead of a stock photo after the problems I was running into with photos being too young, too hot, and/or too dated. I do more searching through stock photo companies' inventories.

I find this illustration I really love that I can license from iStock. It's titled "Adam & Eve" which is perfect, as the problems that arise from the differences between the sexes are as old as time! To me, this illustration conveys humor without locking into a specific race or age group. I try it out in a cover design:

I really like it, but I'm not loving it yet. I play around with size and fonts a little bit...

There! By George, I think I've got it! I like the font in varying sizes between the two figures. I started with the type in stark black, but I found I like it better in charcoal gray, as it seems to go better with the almost pastel figures. I play around with the subtitle a bit, and I think we have a final version! I send it to Bob and Liza. "That's it! Perfect," says Bob. "I knew you could do it," says Liza. Glad she knew! I was having serious doubts! I purchase the license from iStock. We publish the book, and it gets to the #3 spot in "hot new releases" on Amazon in our genre during the first couple of days! We also get lots of compliments on the cover. I nervously submit it to The Book Designer Awards. We win "best nonfiction cover" in June! I'm over the moon! 

Thanks for coming along on the bumpy but successful ride. They say it's not the destination but the journey. I guess that's true. It's good to have talented and honest friends (and plenty of Krispy Kremes) along the way! The lesson I learned was not to settle too quickly and to ask for feedback throughout the process!

Happy Fourth of July! Why The Fourth Would ALWAYS Be Celebrated In An All-Male World

Happy Fourth of July to all! In honor of this special day and all it represents, an excerpt from the "Holiday Celebration Gene" chapter of "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" on amazon.com. In this chapter we note that those possessing the WHY? chromosome seem to lack the "Holiday Celebration Gene," except in certain cases. One of those would be the Fourth of July. In an all-male world, this would be one holiday that would be observed. Frequently. See if you agree:

The Fourth of July

The Female Perspective:

In an all-male world, this holiday would probably be celebrated weekly throughout the summer, as it features four things men love: beer, meat, fire, and pyrotechnics. The USA is a ballsy nation, with ballsy beginnings. We fought hard for our independence and we continue to fight hard to protect it. Men feel there’s no better way to honor these truths than to take two of the biggest farm animals there are -- a pig and a cow -- and cook ‘em up in the form of hamburgers and hot dogs over an open flame while downing ale, the nectar of our forefathers. After drinking lots of ale, they ignite small explosives in the backyard. Because of men’s dominant Me Like Fire Genes, backyard Fourth of July fireworks shows double as entertainment and sport and provide continued employment for area firefighters and emergency room personnel. Yes, this is the American way, or actually, the male way, to celebrate a holiday.

Ladies, please don’t make the same mistake I did one Fourth of July by NOT serving a meat that formerly wore hooves. Thinking of my guests’ health, I served turkey and veggie burgers for our Fourth of July party. You would have thought I had doused the flag in kerosene and put it on the grill. The men in the group thought they’d received a “bum steer,” and I was deemed unpatriotic. Even my devoted father joined in the mutiny, calling out, “Happy Thanksgiving!” as everyone came through the buffet. I learned the hard way that if you can catch it and kill it with your bare hands, it is not worthy of your Fourth of July table – at least to the male guests at your party. Men will say they’re all for replacing beef with turkey and tofu – just not while they’re eating.

The Man’s Take:

Okay, guys. Go ahead and take a deep breath here before reading on. I know after reading the above you are likely fuming and assuming my sister is either British or a communist. Our family thought so too after the fowl turkey burger atrocity, so we had her vetted, and she is indeed American. Hey, tolerance, acceptance and inclusion are what make this country great. We don’t put to the sword those who serve turkey burgers on the Most Holy of Holidays. Fortunately, there are men still alive to tell the tale of that fateful Fourth of July that will live in infamy. For years, we kept that debacle quiet to save my sister from the angry mobs with pitchforks and torches that would have surely overrun her house if word got out. We started a day of remembrance that we observe every July 3rd. The survivors of the day gather around a pit into which we drop a couple of turkey burgers and … gag… veggie “dogs” as an offering to the Fourth of July gods. We then roast a proper meal over the flame: a special meat masterpiece created by a local artisan butcher who deals only in hooved meats. He makes up the hooved version of the turduken for the ritual we call the “Cowpigal.” It is a small calf (veal) placed inside a pig that is then placed inside a cow. Although July 3rd is a somber affair, we rejoice in the knowledge that, by the dawn’s early light, the new day will bring our rockets’ red glare and proof through the night that our beef is still there. For ours is the land of the free and the home of the beef! Can I get an Amen?

Best wishes for a happy, healthy, safe Fourth to you and yours! 

(Find "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" on amazon.com as both an ebook for $3.99 and paperback for $8.99. Great anniversary or birthday gift!)

"Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes"

A Humorous Look At The Differences Between The Sexes - From Both Sides Just Released On Amazon

Opposites attract. And when it comes to men and women, they can also confound, repulse, amaze and torment.

Differences in men and women are hardwired into our DNA -- many are obvious, but some reveal themselves in surprising, unsettling, annoying, even disgusting ways in the course of the typical male-female relationship.

Early in a romance, a woman doesn’t think to ask the man she’s involved with, “Do you think the pairing of a screen door and two dildos makes for a romantic anniversary gift?” Or, “Does your idea of a relaxing vacation involve sailing unfamiliar islands during treacherous storms on the cheapest, leakiest rental boat you can find?” Or, “Do you see your role in co-hosting a dinner party as more (A) folding cloth napkins into swans days before the event or (B) merely showing up some time before the entrée is served?”

Similarly, it doesn’t occur to most men to ask their intendeds, “Just how many moods will you be expressing in a week, and are you thinking they will each require seventeen pairs of shoes?” Or, “When the car starts making a funny noise, do you (A) immediately pull off the road to investigate and call AAA or (B) continue driving to meet your friend at the T.J. Maxx across town?” And, “Do you invest five times more money in face creams, bath gels, hair goop, makeup and other stuff to clutter the bathroom than you do your savings account each month?”

Unfortunately, the answers to such questions often catch us by surprise, leaving us irritated, nauseated, scratching our heads, or ready to call for legal counsel. Forewarned is forearmed. Knowledge, preparation and laughter are powerful coping mechanisms. (Occasional cocktails don’t hurt!) In this spirit, "Men and Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" examines certain dominant and recessive genes in both genders in an effort to foster understanding and acceptance of those possessing the WHY? chromosome as well as those possessing double X (known to many men as “two strikes and you’re out”) chromosomes. Truly inspired strategies for coping with the irksome habits of each sex are provided throughout.

We are so excited to announce the publication of the book co-authored by me (Tracy Kunzler, author of "Aging With Ungirdled Passion”) and my  brother Bob Nery. If you've ever lived with a man or a woman, we know you'll enjoy it! Because my brother if full of... well, let's just call it "machismo," men will especially enjoy this one! We humbly suggest it as a much-appreciated Father's Day gift when paired with his favorite brew! 

Genes examined include: 

• Reluctance to Call a Professional Gene • Private Parts Pride and Prejudice Gene • Shoe Acquisition and Appreciation Gene • Selective Sight, Memory and Hearing Genes • Tupperware Party Gene • Common Cold = The Bubonic Plague Gene • "Look At Me! Look At Me!" Gene • Home Accents Appreciation Gene • Proper Gift Selection Gene • Proper Party Attendance Gene • Holiday Celebration Gene 
...and many more.

It's lots cheaper than counseling or a divorce attorney and way more fun. At just $3.99 for the e-book and $8.99 for the paperback, we guarantee you’ve paid more for certain coffee drinks or sandwiches you didn’t find half as funny or insightful. Besides, spousicide is still a felony. We checked.

Thanks so much for checking out our new book. We think you'll have a lot of fun with it. It makes the perfect gift for someone who has everything but the answers to male-female dilemmas as old as the ages! Make it the centerpiece of a gift basket for an anniversary or wedding shower with a bottle of wine and some pretty wine glasses or bar supplies. They’ll think you’re pure gene-us! http://goo.gl/dZjgmjhttp://goo.gl/dZjgmj

"The Mother Of All Meltdowns" -- A Great Mother's Day Gift For The Young Mom

The Mother Of All Meltdowns is a

great Mother's Day gift for the 

young mom. Find it here.

How I wish this collection of essays was available when I was a young mother! It would have provided me with much-needed relief and an emotional lifeline! “The Mother of All Meltdowns” is a collection of essays from 30 of the today’s most popular mommy bloggers who share personal parenting meltdowns. I really like it for a couple of reasons.

First, 30 moms totally spill regarding some of their biggest parenting meltdowns -- what got them there, the fallout and what they learned. I expected a humor book, and while there were plenty of funny moments, there were a lot more poignant and relatable ones. Feelings of  “Oh, I remember having a day like that,” alternated with feelings of “Wow! I’ve never had it quite that bad” while reading it. These moms bare it all – the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny. In doing so, they make you feel normal, relieved and connected to the greater sisterhood of mothers. While there are tales of mothering meltdowns involving kids of all ages (there’s an entertaining story about a meltdown with teenagers that results in a memorable powdered sugar war), it’s an especially great read for the young mother. I know I would have loved to have a copy when my now 21-year-old boys were little. At that time, I felt too ashamed to admit that once in a while, motherhood had me screaming on the inside! These moms are brave and generous to share these stories.

Second, this book is a great way to get a “taste” of and introduction to 30 great blogs! If you get the kindle edition (a real bargain at just 99¢!), you can link to the blog of each author with the tap of a finger! It’s like a wonderful sampler box of chocolates -- some are rich and deep, some are a little nutty, and some are really sweet! All are deliciously satisfying!

“The Mother of All Meltdowns” is a terrific gift for the young mother or mother-to-be this Mother’s Day. The paperback version is just $8.99 and is available for two day shipping with amazon prime membership! Pair it with her favorite bottle of wine and take the kids for a few hours for a most-appreciated Mother’s Day gift combo. 

For the, ahem, more mature mom, may I humbly suggest a copy of “Aging With Ungirdled Passion” also available on amazon.com? Don’t worry about getting her a bottle. The more mature mom has learned to keep herself well-stocked. Happy Mother’s Day!

Audrey Hepburn On Beauty, Aging And Chocolate Cake

I have been collecting quotes on growing older and thought I'd share them with you. I especially love this one from Audrey Hepburn: 

Audrey Hepburn was a true beauty inside and out, not to mention a talented actor and devoted humanitarian. Adore the following advice and "beauty tips" from her:


"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." More words of wisdom:

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

"I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true."


"Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me."

Amen to that, Audrey!

Meryl Streep on Aging

Snow Storm Survival

If you're like me and everyone else I've talked to, you are OVER snow this winter. Here on the Virginia coast, we are snowed in for a third time in six weeks with schools and most everything else closed. I can only imagine how ungirdled sisters up north are handling it. Thought I'd share this handy guide for surviving being snowed in with good spirits - namely vodka - but gin or tequila will work equally well. We ungirdled girls are flexible and able to improvise in the worst of conditions. 

Stay warm and well hydrated! Spring HAS to be coming soon!

Happy Holidays Ungirdled Friends!!

The Creative Wedge at Hilltop West Shopping Center

in Virginia Beach. You will love it! Cutest gifts ever - 

like a etsy store come to life AND gourmet wines and

cheeses! All either handcrafted or made in the USA

This holiday season, I am grateful for all my wonderful ungirdled girlfriends (as well as my husband, children, family, good health, home, beloved Bogie dog, brownies and the newly-expanded Total Wine store down the street!) I wish all of you a wonderful, happy, healthy, peaceful, blessed holiday season and 2014!

If you're still looking for a great girlfriend gift, may I humbly suggest "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" on amazon? Scroll through the Ungirdled Passion facebook page for some great ideas for pairing the book (it's really a great price, I think you'll agree) with another appropriate gift item your girlfriend will cherish. If you wanna go ahead and "like" the page while you're there, I wouldn't mind a bit. Rumor is you automatically lose 5 pounds when you do! (It's a rumor I'm starting right here.)

You can buy "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" online here at amazon (who ships really fast) or if you're in Virginia Beach, a really cool, new shop, The Creative Wedge at Hilltop West, is now carrying it! This is a really great shop you don't want to miss - everything they sell is either handcrafted or made in the USA. All kinds of great gift items, wine and gourmet cheeses! If they had buff cabana boys serving you brownies as they massaged your shoulders, you'd confuse it with heaven.

Thanks so much to Morgan Chase and Cathy Lewis who had me as a guest on my FAVORITE local radio show yesterday, "HearSay With Cathy Lewis," and all the wonderful, supportive friends who were more than generous for listening and saying such kind things after the show. Love that show, and Cathy Lewis is a marvel - warm, funny, gracious, firing on all cylinders as she does 17 things at once. I want to be her when I grow up.

Thanks so much for your wonderful support and friendship! Have a fabulous holiday season, and remember, the tree isn't the only thing to be lit during the holidays! Make spirits bright WITH spirits - gin, vodka, tequila for example - in a fun, responsible way! 'Tis the season!

PERFECT Gift For A Girlfriend's Special Birthday!

Looking for the perfect gift for a girlfriend's 40th, 50th, 60th or 70th birthday? This gift basket is the gift that she'll appreciate no matter what birthday it may be! The centerpiece is the hilarious book on aging for women of "a certain age," "Aging With Ungirdled Passion." You'll score big points by giving her lots to laugh at when it comes to the "gifts" that come with aging along with items that will actually come in very handy! Readers have suggested other additions like sleep aids, Estroven, Prozac, support hose, and nose hair trimmer. You can customize basket contents for your friend's special needs. You can even add a copy of the book with a personal inscription from the author at no additional charge by going here! What a fun, savvy and thoughtful friend you are! Happy gift-giving!

"Aging With Ungirdled Passion" - Great Pick For Fun Book Club Meetings

Looking for a great pick for your book club meeting? Last night, I attended a wonderful book club meeting where "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" was the book pick of the month! OK, so it was MY book club, but I was honored when one of the very wise, insightful women - a visionary, really - picked the book. I was even more impressed with the dinner menu! She served the TOP TEN ANTI-AGING FOODS! How clever is that?! She even made up little cards to place by all the dishes highlighting the benefits of the foods included in them. Everything was delicious! We devoured:

• Wine
• Bean salsa  and guacamole with whole grain chips
• Wine
• Salad of fresh greens with nuts, berries and grilled salmon
• Dessert of fresh berries and dark chocolate!
• Wine

If you want to do the same, you can google "Top Ten Anti-Aging Foods." You'll get tons of articles.

Topics we discussed from the book included:

• How we feel about aging and the phrase "50 is the new 30"
• How friendships really are like underwear
• Physical changes that occur with age and how we handle them
• How our generation is "aging" vs. our mothers'
• Uterus-falling out syndrome
• Vagazzling

Being that we are all of a "certain age" (mid 40s to mid 50s), we had a great, insightful, hilarious discussion and laughed our heads off! Not to mention a fabulous meal! I think we all looked like teenagers by the time we finished all those anti-aging foods! We certainly acted like them while discussing the book. I had honestly not thought of the book as a centerpiece for book club discussions, but I have to say, it was terrific! You have to admit, it's also a quick, economical ($2.99 for ebook; $6.29 for paperback) read. I am nothing if not cheap and easy! I am so grateful for the support of my wonderful friends and Ungirdled sisters everywhere, and wanted to pass on my friend's wonderful ideas for a book club meeting! Happy reading!

Guest Column! A Pregnant Pause For Menopause!

(Today, beloved Ungirdled readers, is a special guest column by Valerie Johnston for the website Healthline.com on something we've all faced or will face. Enjoy and check out Healthline.com when you get the chance!)

What We Want is a Pregnant Pause for Menopause

First, let it be said that most women agree that there is nothing funny about menopause.  That said, it might as well be approached with humor; every woman who reaches an age when menopause creeps into life is going to experience it.  It might as well have a light-hearted side.  And after a life long struggle with monthly female issues, month after month, year after ragged year, maybe it is time for some levity when, some time into the creep, you suddenly realize: Oh.  No more periods.  Isn’t that worth celebrating?

So, what have you to look forward to if the creeping paws of menopause have not yet set upon you?  It is a slow process.  If you were expecting something that would be a quick-change artist; a dash into the walk-in closet, throw on a new frock, old lady threads, and repeat that over the cycle of the moon, and voilà, you’re now a completed woman (oh, but there is something incomplete), you need the quiet, pregnant pause to reconsider.  Don’t take too long in contemplation.  It’s a long time going down the road, but the road has a quick beginning.

The first thing you might notice – and it may be a couple of months before it slaps its dose of reality – is that your periods stopped.  There may be a sudden twist of regret in the womb: it is the finality of youth and procreative power.  Never again, it echoes, never, ever…  Motherhood does have its joys and sorrows.  The sorrows lose their sting after a time, but the joys last forever.  Never, ever again.  You may suddenly feel like you are the next model, a female this time, for the Old Man of the Year with a scythe draped over your shoulder.  You are bent over, hobbling.  With the end of the year comes the sudden realization: no more periods!  And life did not end after all.  In fact, a look in the mirror and you may not even see a wrinkle or a gray hair.  Isn’t that worth celebrating?

Wait!  Why am I laying here in bed, middle of the night in the dead of winter, and I’m having night sweats?  I’m having lunch with my daughters -- two married, one not yet -- the next afternoon.  The fan in the restaurant is right over our table, and I’m having day sweats!  “Hells’ bells, is it hot in here or is it just me?”  They look at me, shrugging.  I’m positively drenched.  Is there a fire?  Did the sprinklers just turn on?  They don’t have a clue!  Just you wait for mother’s revenge!  I’ll get you, my pretties.

I’m looking in the mirror; just waking up, putting on my make-up, and, even though it is “that time of month,” I suddenly have a happy tune rolling through my head.  “I’m as corny as Kansas in August, I’m as normal as blueberry pie…”  The creeping paws have delivered another piece of pleasure pie: no more mood swings!  Finally, for the first time since we were married thirtummmmmmmmy mmm-mmm years ago, my husband may be able to look at me, listen to me, and he will likely understand everything I said.  Did he change, or did I?  Who cares?  If I was from Venus and he was from Mars, we have finally coordinated a landing in the middle on Earth, but it feels like heaven.  Isn’t that worth celebrating?

Take off the sad face, hold for a good, long, pregnant pause and celebrate the creeping paws of menopause.

Valerie Johnston is a health and fitness writer located in East Texas. With ambitions of one day running a marathon, writing for Healthline.com ensures she keeps up-to-date on all of the latest health and fitness news.

"Aging With Ungirdled Passion" Now Available In Paperback!

Just in time for Mother's Day! "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" is now available in paperback here! "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" has been available as an e-book through Amazon.com on Kindles, iPads, computers and more for several weeks, and the responsive has been fantastic! The warm reception is greatly appreciated! I am so happy to be able to make it available in paperback form. The book also makes a great birthday gift for girlfriends and is a fun beach read. 

Chapters and highlights include:

• My Ovaries Are Going Out of Business, And All My Clothing Is Half Off!
• Middle Age Has Turned Me Into A Real Mother Plucker
• When Your Uterus Has Fallen And It Can’t Get Up
• My Perfect Sleep Number Is Chardonnay
• I’ve Fought The Lard, And The Lard’s Won: Fallen Soldiers In The Battle of the Bulge
• Shift Happens; It’s Best To Be A Man About It.
• The Lyrics To “I’m Fifty And I Know It!”
And lots more!

It’s a fun, reflective read that’s cheaper than therapy and a whole lot more fun. We guarantee you’ve paid more for a sandwich that wasn’t half as amusing or as insightful!

So join the party as we celebrate the important insights that can only be gained from living and loving for the past five or six decades while laughing at the less-appreciated gifts that come with the A.G.E. syndrome. You may be hairier, heavier, and grumpier. But you’re not alone.

Aging With Ungirdled Passion - THE BOOK! Just published!

I am so pleased to announce the publication of "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" now available on amazon.com! It is a collection of new and expanded favorite essays on the gifts that come with reaching "a certain age." A must-read for anyone in possession of a uterus. PLUS it's only $2.99! 

Chapters and highlights include:
• My Ovaries Are Going Out of Business, And All My Clothing Is Half Off!
• Middle Age Has Turned Me Into A Real Mother Plucker
• When Your Uterus Has Fallen And It Can’t Get Up
• My Perfect Sleep Number Is Chardonnay
• I’ve Fought The Lard, And The Lard’s Won: Fallen Soldiers In The Battle of the Bulge
• Shift Happens; It’s Best To Be A Man About It.
• The Lyrics To “I’m Fifty And I Know It!”
And lots more!

It’s a fun, reflective read that’s cheaper than therapy and a whole lot more fun. I guarantee you’ve paid more for a latte and been much less stimulated and more for a sandwich that wasn’t half as amusing or as insightful!

So join the party! Get your copy here today! And remember, you may be hairier, heavier, and grumpier. But you’re not alone. Thanks to my wonderful readers for all their support!! You can now also follow Ungirdled Passion on twitter: https://twitter.com/Ungirdled

Sitting Empty In A Soon-To-Be- Eggless Nest!

As I write this, I am not only going through menopause, but my twin sons – my only children, my youngest and oldest – are leaving the nest. As you read this, they will have just moved into dorms at separate colleges. I am sitting eggless in what is about to be an empty nest. While I am both very excited and nervous for them — and for me — it doesn’t seem real. Doesn’t seem possible. Then I look at the tuition and housing bills, and I realize it’s all as real as I now know Kim Kardashian’s “back story” is since she made the wise and tasteful decision of having it X-rayed on TV to clear up any doubt. (I know Iam sleeping better since she took that brave step, and I have to imagine the rest of the country is, too.)

Please read the rest here. It's my monthly guest column for Health Bistro and Lifescript.com! To all my friends on the east coast, best wishes for riding out Irene! I will likely be unable to comment due to power loss for days, possibly weeks, but really appreciate your readership!

Female Role Models: Snooki vs. Samantha Stevens

I grew up wanting to be “bewitching” like Samantha, “lost in space” like Penny, and cleverly kick-butt like Agent 99. Those were my role models on TV, some of the females most revered in popular culture at the time. They were women and girls who used their wits (ok, and a little witchcraft) to save the day. Samantha was forever saving the bumbling Darren and his advertising accounts at McMann & Tate -usually on her wits alone. Penny was a space pioneer battling aliens and a wily Dr. Smith. Secret Agent 99 used her cunning and martial arts skills to get Maxwell Smart out of countless jams.

Fast forward 20 some years after my childhood (OK, 30…oh alright! 40!) and who do our young girls see capturing the media’s airtime and the public’s attention and admiration? The first female speaker of the house? Not so much. Female journalists? Only if they are on the E! network or TMZ. Women who lead the way in medicine, education or environmentalism? Not unless you count renaming cocaine “gum” once it’s found in your purse as a medical breakthrough or see turning “leaked” sex tapes into high-paying stardom as recycling and repurposing.

Read the rest here where I am guest-blogging at Health Bistro! Thanks so much for visiting!

Forget TMI; These Days There Can Be TMP

My pulse quickens. My hands shake. My colon tightens. I begin to sweat profusely. I can’t believe it’s happening again. I’ve just received a message that a friend has “tagged” a photo of me on facebook.

My mind races as my fingers fly across the keyboard. What event did I recently attend where someone had a camera? Or did my “friend” post a shot from back in the day that would be best hidden from the view of my children, my mother and local authorities? How quickly can I logon and view the photo and then “untag” it before everyone on my friend list (forget everyone on the friend’s friend list) can see the wattle and the roll of fat I fear is showing.

These are the worries in the age of TMP: Too Much Photography.

Seems everywhere you go these days, (read the rest here. Thanks for visiting!)

Spring Fever - What Are Your Symptoms?

This week we welcomed spring, and everyone I know is happy about it. Seems like this winter in particular was a messy, sloppy, irritating houseguest who long overstayed his welcome. As a result, many are catching spring fever, and I've realized we each present our own unique “symptoms” with this bug. Today I cover four I’ve recently observed. Do you have one of these particular symptoms? Find out here. It's my monthly guest column for the way-cool Health Bistro blog. I'd love to hear about your particular spring fever symptoms at the end of the post there. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

HAPPY SPRING!!

Greeting card at right sold here along with lots of other great things like fabulous birthday, Mother's Day and teachers' gifts!

Bunco, Book Club - When It Comes To Health Benefits, You Can Say BINGO!

How does having a regular "monthly" benefit your health and well-being? In more ways than you might ever imagine! If you've ever had guilt heading out the door for your monthly club meeting, read about the benefits here and banish that guilt for good! It's my monthly guest column at Health Bistro! Thanks for visiting! I would love to hear how your "monthly" benefits you in the comments section at the end of the post.

How Do Raw Sewage, Crazy-Daisy Spewed Vomit and Rotten Pumpkin Add Up To The Ideal Valentine?

Find out here! It's my monthly guest column for the good folks at Lifescript and Health Bistro. I'd love for my Ungirdled sisters (and brothers!) to leave a comment on your ideal Valentine at the end of the post there.

Need a spiffy card or festive Valentine's banner? You can find them here! The photo at right shows one available.

Need a gift for your special Valentine? How about a personalized pet print? Details here!

Do you need a break from my shameless plugging of my etsy shop? Yeah, me too. Let's go over to Health Bistro for a visit, and you can let me know about some of your most memorable Valentine's moments or what makes your special someone your ideal Valentine.

Happy Valentine's Day! I love my readers every day!

What Are Your Resolutions for 2011?

Happy new year to the Ungirdled nation! I so appreciate you coming to visit throughout 2011! Your friendship has meant a lot. As we enter a new year, I've made a few resolutions and am wondering what yours are. Please share them here. It's my monthly guest column for the good folks at Health Bistro and lifescript.com.

Best wishes for a new year filled with lots of love, laughter, great health, peace, and - let's be hones - a little prosperity would be nice, too! Stay safe tonight and don't forget your black-eyed peas - Will.i.am, Fergie, and those other two.