Girl Scout Cookie Sales Alternatives For The Ungirdled Nation

It’s that time of year again. Just when we realize our new year’s resolutions to lose weight aren’t going to pan out, cherub-faced do-gooders known as Girl Scouts begin ringing our door bells to hawk their irresistible cookies. Just what my fudge-filled thighs need, a coating of Thin Mints. (The name is even enticing – THIN mint, when it’s anything but.) Who can resist them or the delectable Dos-si-dos and Tagalongs? The answer is no one. That is why, since this highly-anticipated annual event began in 1917, the obesity rate has risen like 713% (give or take a few hundred percent). The number one seller, the Thin Mint, has 160 calories per serving of four cookies. Who can and does eat just four at a time?! With over 200 million boxes of Girl Scout cookies sold each year, and 25% of them being thin mints, and a pound of fat equating 3,500 calories, basic math tells us that thin mints alone are responsible for over 17 bazillion pounds gained by Americans each year.

Girl Scouts are in no way to blame for the obesity epidemic. I sold Girl Scout cookies as a girl, and my mother even served as Girl Scout district distribution manager one year. We had cases and cases all over our home and garage. I am a big (thanks to the cookies, make that HUGE) fan of scouting. While they are not the problem, I do look to Girl Scouts, as among the brightest and best our country, to be leaders in the solution.

Scouting is an incredibly valuable program that needs and merits our support. Did you know that in 2005, 71.5 percent of women in the U.S. Senate and 67.1 percent of the women in the House of Representatives were former Girl Scouts? In 1942, when there were sugar, flour and butter shortages during World War II, Girl Scouts took to selling calendars in lieu of cookies. In that spirit, I have come up with a suggested list of things Girl Scouts can sell instead of cookies that today’s consumer (and Ungirdled Woman) could really use and appreciate:

• Spanx

• Estrogen patches

• Designer shoes

• Thigh masters

• Botox injections

• Liquor

Here’s what I think is the best idea of all: get the Slim Fast people to come up with a new, thin mint flavor exclusively for Girl Scouts. A S’mores flavor wouldn’t be bad either. I think they would be huge sellers - almost as big as my thighs.

If, like me, you know you’re going to succumb to the sweet-faced pushers of thin mint ecstasy, you can visit the official Girl Scout Cookie website here to review all the varieties and acquaint yourself with the latest additions. I know I’ll be getting to know them all too well. One thing I especially like about Girl Scout cookie sales is, once you’ve been approached by the 27^th neighbor girl selling them, the option to have some of the cookies you purchase go to military troops serving overseas. There’s a cookie purchase good for your heart and waistline!

Winter Blahs? Try These Mood Boosters

If you’re like me, you may have noticed a lot of people in a bit of a funk and may have even found yourself feeling a little funky. Whether it’s the economy or just a case of winter blahs, many of us could use a way to lift our spirits. I recently saw a spot on TV highlighting ways to boost your mood based on a New York magazine feature titled "50 Steps To Simple Happiness." These were things touted as simple, affordable ways to make for a happier, healthier you. I'm listing a few I thought made sense, some things I would personally like to try (but will probably never happen), as well as a few mood-boosters that have never let me down.

Ways To Lift Mood From New York Magazine *

Make Your Bed. The theory here is if you have your environment controlled, you’ll feel more at peace. If you do this first thing, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment from the get-go. I do think there's a little something to this.

Paint your walls yellow. The idea being that yellow is the color of sunlight and sunlight is a natural mood booster. I personally do not like yellow anything (except for beer and cheese which which are wonderful mood lifters) but I do have a number of walls painted yellow green or orange throughout my house and they make me very happy. I’ve had people actually say the rooms with those colors make them happy.

Use green apple or cucumber scented products. The article recommends looking for candles, lotions or shampoos that have these scents, as they’ve been proven to lift mood. I think you could even actually eat the real thing and probably get the same effect!

Eat an ounce of dark chocolate. The magazine says dark chocolate will boost your mood and give you much-needed antioxidants that are good for your health. I say more is more, so have more than an ounce and get really happy!

Things I Would Like To Try To Boost My Mood But Will Probably NEVER Happen

Controlling the remote when my husband and I are watching television.

Owning my own taser – the REAL kind like the police have. I promise not to use it more than once...OK three... times a week!

Having the people in my house aim.

Having the people in my house who don’t aim, clean up after they don’t aim. (a girl can dream!)

Saying to a salesgirl while in the fitting room, “Could you please fetch me these jeans in a size six or even a four? This pair of eights is just falling off of me!”

Guaranteed Mood Boosters (for me, anyway!)

Spend time with your dog. Whether it’s two minutes scratching his belly or a quick game of dodging and running around the yard, I’ll bet he'll provide you with lots of unconditional love and smiles.

Our family mood lifter, Bogie

Put your favorite music on when no one else is home (LOUD) and turn that mother out as you shake your money maker all over the dance flo'.

Take a leisurely stroll through the green house of a nearby nursery with classical music or smooth jazz playing on your iPod. The sights, smells and sounds will restore you.

Play a game with family and friends. We like Apples-to-Apples, Catch Phrase and have just discovered a new one called “What’s Yours Like?” Seems I nearly loose bladder control whenever we play one of these (or I sneeze).

Get together with favorite girlfriends and laugh. One of my favorite things to do with a group of favorite girls is paint, craft or knit as we sip adult beverages and nibble treats. If you laugh enough, you'll feel much better. If you drink enough, you will turn out some masterpieces! (At least you'll think so at the time!)

Watch videos of babies laughing on YouTube. Here are two good ones to get you started:

I hope these tips will help lift your mood the next time you feel a little funky. I'd love to hear your tips! Feel free to add your own special ways of boosting your spirits by hitting "comments" below.

* Many of the tips in the New York Magazine article involved going to specific places in New York. You can find the entire article here.

Guest Blogger Sheila Kilpatrick Talks About The “P” Word

Today, guest blogger Sheila Kilpatrick talks about the “P” word: patience. As Ungirdled (and often estrogen-deprived!) women, patience is something we often find in short supply. Sheila knows of what she speaks. She has paired patience with perseverance to triumph over cancer and become an award-winning children’s book author. In addition to being a terrific writer, Sheila is a wonderful friend, artist and animal lover who lives in Virginia Beach with her dogs CoJack and Houston. Her first children’s book, Anastasia’s Rain has just received a silver award from "The Mom's Choice Awards." For more information on this great book, see the information following this article. Thanks for guest blogging, Sheila! As a mom living with two teenagers, I found this post to be especially helpful!

The “P” word. What word am I defining? Calmly tolerating provocation or delay...bearing misfortune or pain without complaint. Did you get it? If not, I have one more hint from a nine year old. “I think it is waiting for stuff even when you don’t want to.” Yes, the word is patience. Sometimes the simplest explanations are the best!

Have you ever stopped to think about the number of times on an average day you have the opportunity to practice patience? In a high-tech, internet-based, “I need it yesterday” world, patience no longer seems necessary, but in my humble opinion, it is more necessary than ever and really is a virtue.

Patience requires us to think beyond ourselves, as it usually involves others. In just one day, I found myself irritated in heavy traffic, in line at the grocery store, in line for a bike at the gym, sitting on hold for customer service and upset with the assumed incompetence of a business associate. By day’s end, my mood was lousy.

Rather than pouring myself a glass of wine and making the best out of the remainder of the day, I decided to analyze my mood. Why was I irritable? Could I be part of the problem? Of course, the things that irritated me irritate most people, but they were things either out of my control or involved others. My personal challenge for the next day was to exhibit patience in every scenario that called for it. What an amazing difference this one decision made in my day!

When traffic was heavy, I popped in a book on tape and actually sat in my driveway for an extra ten minutes listening to it once I got home. When a business associate was about to get on my last nerve, I took a deep breath, smiled and asked what I could do to help solve the problem.

Each time patience was required, I accepted the situation and either reworked my plan or got involved to move things along. It worked!! I was not irritable at the end of the day and it actually felt good knowing I had helped others who were stressed as well.

In a world of people divided by socio-economic, religious and political differences, there may be no better medicine for the soul than to put all this “stuff” aside, use a little patience and take the time to really see another person’s situation. Our own problems are automatically put into perspective and it becomes easier to lend a helping hand. One act of kindness can make a world of difference in another person’s life. It may not be what you did for them, but that you did it.

Have you seen the movie “The Blind Side”? I strongly urge everyone to take the time to experience this movie. It is a true story that shows the best and worst in all of us. In the end, however, with the support of her family, one woman’s big heart, patience and belief in another person changes all their lives. It is true testimony to the power of reaching out to others.

I recently published my first children’s picture book, “Anastasia Pickering, Anastasia’s Rain,” featuring Anastasia, Rufus the dog and Patience the fairy. This book is meant to be a teaching tool for values and life lessons. The lesson for Anastasia is .... patience of course! As I say in the book: “Patience is hard to learn, but important to use.” Teaching our children the importance of using patience is wise, but as we all know, using it ourselves and pointing out to them how much better things go when it is practiced is even wiser.

Experience will always be the best teacher! SO...please consider for 2010 using patience more in your daily routines, teach it to your children by example, use it with others even when it is very hard. Consider going one step further by stepping outside your comfort zone to lend a helping hand. I’m not sure how it will change the other person’s life, but I do know it will change yours.

Peace,

Sheila

Author, Sheila Kilpatrick wrote the Anastasia Pickering series for everyone who has faced a rainy day. She believes perplexing or difficult situations can present us with colorful answers if we listen to our inner (fairy) voices. Sheila, a breast cancer survivor has faced her own rain with the help of loyal friends and family. Her niece and nephew's magical points of view helped her see reflective healing colors in the quiet of the rain. She hopes Anastasia’s rain will open young minds to a different perspective as they face the showers and downpours of their own lives. Please visit: anastasiapickering.com for more information or email Sheila at: picklesandrufus@yahoo.com

Check Out Great Website For The Ungirdled!

I was asked to do a monthly guest column at Health Bistro. You really need to check it out – not for my sake, but because is has a lot of really great stuff on there for us Ungirdled women. Things like “5 Worst Things For Your Gut,” “Anti-Aging Recipes” “Low Libido? It Could Be Diabetes,” and lots more. Of course, if you want to add a comment at the bottom of my column like “This is the best post EVER!” or “This woman (who I've never heard of until now) is a GENIUS!” I won’t mind a bit!

They asked to run a revamped column on my now-famous wattle. The accompanying photo was taken about five years ago, just as my wattle was coming in. I was not about to include one featuring my wattle. I am Ungirdled, not stupid. Click here to read it.

Thanks for taking a look! Have a great weekend and stay warm! Looks like we’re going to get REAL snow big time here in Virginia Beach!

A Call To Arms – Actually Legs & Va-jay-jays – For The Younger Generation

Ungirdled sisters, take note: the younger generation desperately needs our help when it comes to dressing for success. I am no fashion maven, and the last thing I want to do is come off snooty and judgmental, but I have noticed too many young ladies stumbling in stilettos and micro-minis at school and other events that call for “business” or “professional” attire

When attending school events such as debates, awards dinners, Model UN, etc. I have noticed that business dress for young men translates to ties, trousers, button-down dress shirts and jackets. For the ladies, it seems to mean wearing the shortest skirt and the highest heels you can find. (The ability to walk in said shoes is not a priority.) The dresses and skirts I’ve seen young women wear provide little more coverage than the paper ones gynecologists issue for yearly exams. In fact, many young ladies look as though they are ready for their close-ups in that area while attending such events. I know, I know. They get the message to dress this way from magazines, "reality" shows, all the media images they're bombarded with. Bless their hearts. They obviously live in homes with no Ungirdled woman present to counter these messages and set them straight. To help these poor, misinformed souls, I’ve come up with tips for teen girls dressing for success and invite you to add to it.

• Skanky is not the new black in professional dress, unless you’re dressing for success in the world’s oldest profession.

• The shorter the skirt, the lower your heel should be. Really.

• Your skirt should be at least as long as it is wide. I recently saw a young woman participating in a serious academic contest in a skirt that was really and truly wider than it was long. It was seriously wrong.

• To those in business settings, the more skin you show = the less you know. Showing of skin does not equal maturity and business acumen. Not lying here.

• Exhibit and highlight your knowledge, charm, and humor. Not your va-jay-jay.

• Just because you are wearing cocktail attire, it does not trick anyone into thinking you're legally old enough to drink a cocktail

• A sundress and thong sandals does not equal business savvy.

• Katharine Hepburn did us a big favor decades ago and made it just fine to wear pants in a business setting. They are an option for professional dress. A GOOD one.

• I love cute shoes as much as the next girl, but trust me, being able to walk in your shoes will always trump wearing really high heels in so many ways.

I give these tips in a spirit of love and the hope that it will help young women be taken seriously and become valued for their academic capabilities and depth of character rather than their length of skirt. In "short" (pardon the pun) to succeed in the business world: Be an asset; don't show your ASSets, or be an eager beaver instead of showing yours.

CHECK OUT MY GUEST-BLOGGING GIG! I was recently asked to be a monthly guest blogger at healthbistro.com - it's a really cool, informative blog you'll love with all kinds of fascinating tidbits for Ungirdled women. My first post is scheduled to appear this Friday, January 29. Check it out here.

Christmas Card For The Recession

Here's a Christmas card I wanted to make and send for these tough economic times, but my husband said no:

Neal Conan of NPR's "Talk of the Nation" read it on his show this week when I submitted it for a segment on "Holiday Cards For The Recession." I thought I'd share it with you, as I suspect the Ungirdled have more sophisticated tastes than my better half and would appreciate it too!

Best wishes to you and yours for a very merry holiday season and a healthy, happy, love-filled, and PROSPEROUS new year!

Photo for album cover came from here.

Homemade Funny Family Christmas Cards

Every year we like to do something silly for our family Christmas card. Thought I'd share a few ghosts of Christmas cards past.

The one above was featured in our local paper.

The one above was featured on "Live With Regis & Kelly" and in our local paper!

More to come! In the meantime, happy holidays and best wishes for a new year filled with love, laughter, good health and happiness no matter what holiday you celebrate!