Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Yoga - Let The Spirit Move You

Seems many are enjoying the benefits of yoga. I, too, have tried this meditative, beneficial and ancient discipline from India. I have found many of the poses tough to accomplish or hold, however. Come to find out, there's a real secret to mastering these exercises. The technique is as old as yoga itself. Simply, you must let the spirit move you. The spirit can be gin, vodka, or rum. It really doesn't matter. What matters is that you are open to the spirit and committed to obtaining the positions. Below is photographic evidence of the effectiveness of employing this principle. Buddhists hold that "meditative absorption" should be combined with mindfulness in yoga. I know many Ungirdled Women join me in the belief that alcohol absorption is a quicker way to relaxation and inner peace, as well as an aid in conquering difficult yoga poses. Below, we have traditional yoga practitioners on the left, and Ungirdled practitioners who have allowed "spirit" to move them on the right.


Excellent for back pain and imsomnia.

(I ask you, who has the most limber vertebral column here?! The yoga devotee on the right is obviously feeling NO back pain and insomnia is a thing of the past!)

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana

This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

(It is evident to me that the student on the right has achieved total calmness of the brain)


Position stimulates the midrift area and the spinal column.

(Personally, I think the student on the right is very clever to incorporate

a bench in the stimulation of the midrift area


Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.

(The practitioner on the right is so calm, he can perform this pose right on a city street!)

Ananda Balasana

This position releases the sacrum and low back and opens the hips

(I don't know what a sacrum is, but I think the dude on the right looks very open.)


Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.

(Our champ on the right is also getting a nice mud treatment for his cheek as he holds this pose, making the "dolphin" a multi-porpoise exercise! They charge a FORTUNE for mudpack treatments in those swanky spas. Smart!)


Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of "stress."

(Who looks the most uptight to you here?)


Position of total relaxation.

(Who do you view as more relaxed: the chick on the mat on the left, or the dude
soooo calm, he can maintain this pose on a public bus? 'nuff said, me thinks!)

I hope you've found this information to be enlightening and helpful. Just thinking about it makes me anxious for my next yoga session, and why not? It's five o'clock somewhere!

(Special thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law for emailing these photos!)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The S Word Has Hit The Fan

I know, I know. I’ve been slackin’ on blog posts. Most of it is due to the S word hitting the fan. Yes, school has started. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness has ended. I’m trying to accept it with good spirits (the best gin, vodka and rum money can buy) and keep a brave face, although not an attractive one when you must rise in the dark and rattle the monkey cages of Things One & Two to get them going.

One of the reasons I dread school starting is the early wake-up time. Thing One has to be at his bus stop at 6:30 AM, while Thing Two has to be at his at 6:45. I drive them to their stops, as each are about a half mile away, and while that’s not a bad walk, everyone who owns a teen knows it defies the laws of nature for them to be awake at that time let alone awake and coherent enough to walk that distance. It takes a good hour and about 73 ounces of Mountain Dew before such a thing can even be considered.

Another thing I hate about the start of school is my inability to say no to volunteering. Actually, I have gotten better about it, as I am doing less this year. I think part of the reason I find it hard to say no is it seems the same 30 women volunteer and do EVERYTHING for the PTA. Many of these women work full time outside the home. And always look impeccable. And are always organized, friendly and nice! I feel like if they can do all that and volunteer so much, I should step up and do something every year. I am in total awe of these wonder women and, of course, really jealous. This envy was the inspiration for the greeting card idea shown upper right. I have never actually known a PTA president on Prozac, I just love alliteration and the way this character allows the green-eyed monster in me to poke fun at the women who can do it all, since I am so jealous I can't . (The greeting card publisher bought the line – see it here – but did not buy this particular one.)

Anyhoo…if you have kids who have recently started school at your house, you have my sympathies and you all have my promise to try and do a little better at posting more often! Happy school daze!