Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy Fourth of July! Why The Fourth Would ALWAYS Be Celebrated In An All-Male World

Happy Fourth of July to all! In honor of this special day and all it represents, an excerpt from the "Holiday Celebration Gene" chapter of "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" on In this chapter we note that those possessing the WHY? chromosome seem to lack the "Holiday Celebration Gene," except in certain cases. One of those would be the Fourth of July. In an all-male world, this would be one holiday that would be observed. Frequently. See if you agree:

The Fourth of July

The Female Perspective:

In an all-male world, this holiday would probably be celebrated weekly throughout the summer, as it features four things men love: beer, meat, fire, and pyrotechnics. The USA is a ballsy nation, with ballsy beginnings. We fought hard for our independence and we continue to fight hard to protect it. Men feel there’s no better way to honor these truths than to take two of the biggest farm animals there are -- a pig and a cow -- and cook ‘em up in the form of hamburgers and hot dogs over an open flame while downing ale, the nectar of our forefathers. After drinking lots of ale, they ignite small explosives in the backyard. Because of men’s dominant Me Like Fire Genes, backyard Fourth of July fireworks shows double as entertainment and sport and provide continued employment for area firefighters and emergency room personnel. Yes, this is the American way, or actually, the male way, to celebrate a holiday.

Ladies, please don’t make the same mistake I did one Fourth of July by NOT serving a meat that formerly wore hooves. Thinking of my guests’ health, I served turkey and veggie burgers for our Fourth of July party. You would have thought I had doused the flag in kerosene and put it on the grill. The men in the group thought they’d received a “bum steer,” and I was deemed unpatriotic. Even my devoted father joined in the mutiny, calling out, “Happy Thanksgiving!” as everyone came through the buffet. I learned the hard way that if you can catch it and kill it with your bare hands, it is not worthy of your Fourth of July table – at least to the male guests at your party. Men will say they’re all for replacing beef with turkey and tofu – just not while they’re eating.

The Man’s Take:

Okay, guys. Go ahead and take a deep breath here before reading on. I know after reading the above you are likely fuming and assuming my sister is either British or a communist. Our family thought so too after the fowl turkey burger atrocity, so we had her vetted, and she is indeed American. Hey, tolerance, acceptance and inclusion are what make this country great. We don’t put to the sword those who serve turkey burgers on the Most Holy of Holidays. Fortunately, there are men still alive to tell the tale of that fateful Fourth of July that will live in infamy. For years, we kept that debacle quiet to save my sister from the angry mobs with pitchforks and torches that would have surely overrun her house if word got out. We started a day of remembrance that we observe every July 3rd. The survivors of the day gather around a pit into which we drop a couple of turkey burgers and … gag… veggie “dogs” as an offering to the Fourth of July gods. We then roast a proper meal over the flame: a special meat masterpiece created by a local artisan butcher who deals only in hooved meats. He makes up the hooved version of the turduken for the ritual we call the “Cowpigal.” It is a small calf (veal) placed inside a pig that is then placed inside a cow. Although July 3rd is a somber affair, we rejoice in the knowledge that, by the dawn’s early light, the new day will bring our rockets’ red glare and proof through the night that our beef is still there. For ours is the land of the free and the home of the beef! Can I get an Amen?

Best wishes for a happy, healthy, safe Fourth to you and yours! 

(Find "Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" on as both an ebook for $3.99 and paperback for $8.99. Great anniversary or birthday gift!)

Friday, May 16, 2014

"Men & Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes"

A Humorous Look At The Differences Between The Sexes - From Both Sides Just Released On Amazon

Opposites attract. And when it comes to men and women, they can also confound, repulse, amaze and torment.

Differences in men and women are hardwired into our DNA -- many are obvious, but some reveal themselves in surprising, unsettling, annoying, even disgusting ways in the course of the typical male-female relationship.

Early in a romance, a woman doesn’t think to ask the man she’s involved with, “Do you think the pairing of a screen door and two dildos makes for a romantic anniversary gift?” Or, “Does your idea of a relaxing vacation involve sailing unfamiliar islands during treacherous storms on the cheapest, leakiest rental boat you can find?” Or, “Do you see your role in co-hosting a dinner party as more (A) folding cloth napkins into swans days before the event or (B) merely showing up some time before the entrĂ©e is served?”

Similarly, it doesn’t occur to most men to ask their intendeds, Just how many moods will you be expressing in a week, and are you thinking they will each require seventeen pairs of shoes?” Or, “When the car starts making a funny noise, do you (A) immediately pull off the road to investigate and call AAA or (B) continue driving to meet your friend at the T.J. Maxx across town?” And, “Do you invest five times more money in face creams, bath gels, hair goop, makeup and other stuff to clutter the bathroom than you do your savings account each month?”

Unfortunately, the answers to such questions often catch us by surprise, leaving us irritated, nauseated, scratching our heads, or ready to call for legal counsel. Forewarned is forearmed. Knowledge, preparation and laughter are powerful coping mechanisms. (Occasional cocktails don’t hurt!) In this spirit, "Men and Women: Getting Into Each Other's Genes" examines certain dominant and recessive genes in both genders in an effort to foster understanding and acceptance of those possessing the WHY? chromosome as well as those possessing double X (known to many men as “two strikes and you’re out”) chromosomes. Truly inspired strategies for coping with the irksome habits of each sex are provided throughout.

We are so excited to announce the publication of the book co-authored by me (Tracy Kunzler, author of "Aging With Ungirdled Passion”) and my  brother Bob Nery. If you've ever lived with a man or a woman, we know you'll enjoy it! Because my brother if full of... well, let's just call it "machismo," men will especially enjoy this one! We humbly suggest it as a much-appreciated Father's Day gift when paired with his favorite brew! 

Genes examined include: 

• Reluctance to Call a Professional Gene • Private Parts Pride and Prejudice Gene • Shoe Acquisition and Appreciation Gene • Selective Sight, Memory and Hearing Genes • Tupperware Party Gene • Common Cold = The Bubonic Plague Gene • "Look At Me! Look At Me!" Gene • Home Accents Appreciation Gene • Proper Gift Selection Gene • Proper Party Attendance Gene • Holiday Celebration Gene 
...and many more.

It's lots cheaper than counseling or a divorce attorney and way more fun. At just $3.99 for the e-book and $8.99 for the paperback, we guarantee you’ve paid more for certain coffee drinks or sandwiches you didn’t find half as funny or insightful. Besides, spousicide is still a felony. We checked.

Thanks so much for checking out our new book. We think you'll have a lot of fun with it. It makes the perfect gift for someone who has everything but the answers to male-female dilemmas as old as the ages! Make it the centerpiece of a gift basket for an anniversary or wedding shower with a bottle of wine and some pretty wine glasses or bar supplies. They’ll think you’re pure gene-us!

Friday, April 25, 2014

"The Mother Of All Meltdowns" -- A Great Mother's Day Gift For The Young Mom

The Mother Of All Meltdowns is a
great Mother's Day gift for the 
young mom. Find it here.

How I wish this collection of essays was available when I was a young mother! It would have provided me with much-needed relief and an emotional lifeline! “The Mother of All Meltdowns” is a collection of essays from 30 of the today’s most popular mommy bloggers who share personal parenting meltdowns. I really like it for a couple of reasons.

First, 30 moms totally spill regarding some of their biggest parenting meltdowns -- what got them there, the fallout and what they learned. I expected a humor book, and while there were plenty of funny moments, there were a lot more poignant and relatable ones. Feelings of  “Oh, I remember having a day like that,” alternated with feelings of “Wow! I’ve never had it quite that bad” while reading it. These moms bare it all – the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny. In doing so, they make you feel normal, relieved and connected to the greater sisterhood of mothers. While there are tales of mothering meltdowns involving kids of all ages (there’s an entertaining story about a meltdown with teenagers that results in a memorable powdered sugar war), it’s an especially great read for the young mother. I know I would have loved to have a copy when my now 21-year-old boys were little. At that time, I felt too ashamed to admit that once in a while, motherhood had me screaming on the inside! These moms are brave and generous to share these stories.

Second, this book is a great way to get a “taste” of and introduction to 30 great blogs! If you get the kindle edition (a real bargain at just 99¢!), you can link to the blog of each author with the tap of a finger! It’s like a wonderful sampler box of chocolates -- some are rich and deep, some are a little nutty, and some are really sweet! All are deliciously satisfying!

“The Mother of All Meltdowns” is a terrific gift for the young mother or mother-to-be this Mother’s Day. The paperback version is just $8.99 and is available for two day shipping with amazon prime membership! Pair it with her favorite bottle of wine and take the kids for a few hours for a most-appreciated Mother’s Day gift combo. 

For the, ahem, more mature mom, may I humbly suggest a copy of “Aging With Ungirdled Passion” also available on Don’t worry about getting her a bottle. The more mature mom has learned to keep herself well-stocked. Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Audrey Hepburn On Beauty, Aging And Chocolate Cake

I have been collecting quotes on growing older and thought I'd share them with you. I especially love this one from Audrey Hepburn: 

Audrey Hepburn was a true beauty inside and out, not to mention a talented actor and devoted humanitarian. Adore the following advice and "beauty tips" from her:

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." More words of wisdom:

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

"I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true."

"Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me."

Amen to that, Audrey!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Meryl Streep on Aging

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Snow Storm Survival

If you're like me and everyone else I've talked to, you are OVER snow this winter. Here on the Virginia coast, we are snowed in for a third time in six weeks with schools and most everything else closed. I can only imagine how ungirdled sisters up north are handling it. Thought I'd share this handy guide for surviving being snowed in with good spirits - namely vodka - but gin or tequila will work equally well. We ungirdled girls are flexible and able to improvise in the worst of conditions. 

Stay warm and well hydrated! Spring HAS to be coming soon!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Happy Holidays Ungirdled Friends!!

The Creative Wedge at Hilltop West Shopping Center
in Virginia Beach. You will love it! Cutest gifts ever - 
like a etsy store come to life AND gourmet wines and
cheeses! All either handcrafted or made in the USA
This holiday season, I am grateful for all my wonderful ungirdled girlfriends (as well as my husband, children, family, good health, home, beloved Bogie dog, brownies and the newly-expanded Total Wine store down the street!) I wish all of you a wonderful, happy, healthy, peaceful, blessed holiday season and 2014!

If you're still looking for a great girlfriend gift, may I humbly suggest "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" on amazon? Scroll through the Ungirdled Passion facebook page for some great ideas for pairing the book (it's really a great price, I think you'll agree) with another appropriate gift item your girlfriend will cherish. If you wanna go ahead and "like" the page while you're there, I wouldn't mind a bit. Rumor is you automatically lose 5 pounds when you do! (It's a rumor I'm starting right here.)

You can buy "Aging With Ungirdled Passion" online here at amazon (who ships really fast) or if you're in Virginia Beach, a really cool, new shop, The Creative Wedge at Hilltop West, is now carrying it! This is a really great shop you don't want to miss - everything they sell is either handcrafted or made in the USA. All kinds of great gift items, wine and gourmet cheeses! If they had buff cabana boys serving you brownies as they massaged your shoulders, you'd confuse it with heaven.

Thanks so much to Morgan Chase and Cathy Lewis who had me as a guest on my FAVORITE local radio show yesterday, "HearSay With Cathy Lewis," and all the wonderful, supportive friends who were more than generous for listening and saying such kind things after the show. Love that show, and Cathy Lewis is a marvel - warm, funny, gracious, firing on all cylinders as she does 17 things at once. I want to be her when I grow up.

Thanks so much for your wonderful support and friendship! Have a fabulous holiday season, and remember, the tree isn't the only thing to be lit during the holidays! Make spirits bright WITH spirits - gin, vodka, tequila for example - in a fun, responsible way! 'Tis the season!