Monday, March 8, 2010

Do You Look Like You Feel?

Do you look like you feel?

I go around feeling like this:

Of course I don’t think I look like that! I know I don’t. Not anywhere close. Not in the same ballpark, neighborhood of even hemisphere of it, it’s just that If I had to visualize how I feel, this is how I visualize me. Then, I will unfortunately, see a photo of myself someone’s recently taken, and immediately I feel like I look like this:

The stomach! The wattle! The dried-out hair…it’s hard to take it all in. I exercise, I only eat 27% of what I WANT to eat in a day; I take tons of vitamins; I try to get enough sleep, but there it is. I am old and dumpy. Far from what I looked like in high school, and of course, intellectually, I know I don't look like I looked in high school, but I still feel the same spirit-wise.

Then, time goes by and I forget about the photo (can you spell “post traumatic stress disorder?) and happily go about life. Recently, I was happily going about life while some contractors were over to tend to the effects left by having a new door installed (of course, installing the door uncovered tons of rotten wood around the door frame which lot$ had to be done to correct. (Can you spell home ownership: the pantload that keeps on giving?) Anyhoo… I’m making out the check for the head contractor dude, when he asks, “You know who you look like?” While I know the answer will NOT be Cameron Diaz or anyone close to it, you naturally think, when someone makes a point of saying, “You know who you look like?” it’s going to be really flattering. That they're going to name someone a little younger, someone you could only hope to look like if they are saying it to your face and especially IF YOU ARE WRITING OUT A CHECK TO THEM AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT. I asked, with trepidation, “Who’s that?” Wait for it… Wait for it….

“Bonnie Hunt!”

“Really?” I asked, trying to sound pleased and not totally deflated.

“Yes! You look just like her! Do you know who she is?”

“Yes,” I reply trying to continue writing vs. visually tasering contractor dude. “I love her.” Which I do. I really, really do. It’s just that I wanted him to say someone younger than me, not someone a year older. You never want to hear you look like someone older or even close to your age. (Naturally, I immediately looked up Bonnie’s age right after the contractor left to see how old I was looking to the unbiased, outspoken local contractor population.)

While looking up Bonnie’s age, I found lots of photos of her. Looking at them, I realized I would be happy and lucky to look like Bonnie Hunt or remind anyone of her. She is a wonderfully warm, happy, funny, kind and beautiful woman – at least that’s what I think of when I think of her, and if that’s at all how I present myself to the world, then I am very lucky indeed. Stomach, wattle and all. (I'm talking about my wattle and stomach - not Bonnie's - she doesn't seem to have those things, and if she does, mine certainly trump hers!)


  1. I would take either compliment and not start to sweat it until I was told I looked like Jabba! Then,my friend, you have a problem!

  2. You are right, Sheila! I am counting my blessings! Sadly, I started sweating months ago, though, due to hot flashes...

    Thanks for visiting!

  3. Tracy!!! You have to read my post from my personal blog: (I knew we had tons in common!) Too funny ...

  4. OMG, Laurie! TOO WIERD! AND FUNNY! Of all the people out there, we both look like Bonnie Hunt!

  5. It's the dry winter air, Tracy! No amount of lotion seems to help moisturize our darn dry skin! Aarrrghh!!! :D

  6. You're right, Liggy, but I suspect in my case, it's all AGE syndrome! Thanks for visiting!

  7. I can relate so well to your sentiments. When I was in my twenties, I was told I looked Chynna Phillips and Josie Bissett. I hit my thirties and was told I looked like Martha Stewart (which is also a huge compliment, she was simply 20+ years older). In my forties, I'm too scared what I'll be told. When this happens, I know I'll run to the computer and check their ages, too. Love it.

  8. Melinda - you're cute as a button! Much more than Martha Stewart who I would love to be compared to. I really wish our bank accounts were twins!! You made me feel better about my experience, though! Thanks for visiting!!

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  10. I am so much better looking in my mind. I'm always shocked and appalled when I see a photo of myself. Love your definition of an ungirdled woman.

    If you get a chance, please check out my blog. My Decade As A Dyke (

    Notes from my life as a lesbian ... and my journey back to hetville.

    It's got something for everyone -- nuns, vibrators, birth control and beef jerky, not all in the same post, of course.