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• You usually find yourself to be the most interesting and amusing person at a party.
• You've reached the age when you need to drag out just as many tools to prune and trim your face as you do your yard.
• You don’t make a habit of using Halloween as an excuse to dress as a skanky “French maid” or pirate wench with low-cut top, micro mini dress, fishnet stockings and four inch heels (such practical garb for cleaning or sailing the high seas!).
• You’re interested in a man who performs well in your flower bed.
• There’s no way you would go back to your 20s, unless you could take your current-day mind, heart and soul (and bank account) with you!
• You’d like to taser those who say you should just think of hot flashes as power surges. Such people probably think those with herpes should think of the condition as a reminder that somebody once found them attractive.
• You think wearing thong underwear makes as much sense as using a strip of scotch tape instead of a baggie to protect your sandwich.
• Life has taught you a lot, and you and look forward to learning even more… with Ungirdled Passion!
(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
just wiser. And more relaxed and fun. Oh yeah, and wealthier.
I like to think of myself as a visionary. I'm not, but I like to think of myself that way, so in anticipation of your questions, I've provided the following. Feel free to email me at vivahaha@cox.net if I forgot anything.
Q: What is you favorite weapon to use in a bar fight?
A: NEVER the cocktail I am holding. That is always a LAST resort. I’ll use whatever is closest to me, as after years of bar fights, I have learned to improvise – a pool stick, cocktail onions, a bar towel - you’d be amazed what I can do with those things - especially when I'm running low on estrogen.
Q: Hellman’s or Miracle Whip?
A: Duh. Duke’s mayo – always. The light version is also the best light mayo in my opinion.
Q: What should I get my mother-in-law for her birthday?
A: Anything from Making Happy! You can conveniently shop in the comfort of your home for handcrafted gifts and home decor MADE IN AMERICA at http://www.etsy.com/shop/makinghappy
Q: Which Darrin did you like the best on Bewitched?
A: Mmmmm. This has always been a hard question for me. Because the first Darrin, (Dick York, 1964-1969) was dorkier and seemed weaker and genuinely more panicked about Samantha’s powers, he didn’t make me quite as mad as Darrin #2 (Dick Sargent, 1969-1972) whenever Darrin got angry at Samantha for using her powers when he deemed it inappropriate. I’ve never quite gotten over the fact that they changed Darrins on us.
Q: Do you talk about Fight Club?
A: Never.
I'm sorry he forgot your birthday! My guy is the same way sometimes. Must be in their genetic make up or something.
ReplyDeleteComing by from SITS!
The bully beat down!! i laughed out loud...
ReplyDeleteoff to check out your page somemore.
happy belated. :)
d
sits / supahmommy/ mr. linky teacher
do you talk about fight club..
ReplyDeletelmaoooooo!!!
My husband is great at birthdays, Valentines Day, Anniversary and Christmas, but totally falls down in other areas. Doesn't help in the house unless hounded, etc. We just can't have it all, I guess.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same!
ah, don't worry, your husband is not the only one. I guess men don't think special days are that important to us women! I constantly nag mine to buy me a present weeks before my birthday!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry he forgot! I am sure that does hurt. Men are just wired differently. It is hard to accept.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been married 26 years. I suggest you throw yourself a surprise birthday party next year! I did one year! I had a great time!
ReplyDeleteI think you might really enjoy my birthday post (an AUG. birthday):http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2009/08/10/the-uniquely-perfect-mom-birthday/
You guys are so sweet. He truly is a great guy and I wound up having a terrific day! Still learning after 22 years together not to expect ANYTHING on my b-day! And that's actually OK in the big picture! I did pick up a lovely bracelet from him when I was out shopping! Getting tons of compliments on it. He has excellent taste! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! Honestly, I would be so hurt and probably a lot pissed off if my husband ever forgot an important date, like my birthday, or our anniversary. Luckily, Jim is on top of it.
ReplyDeleteNow, I'm not one for playing games and/or being manipulative, but sometimes a girls gotta get her point across, you know? My suggestion? The next important date that comes up - act like you forgot!
Stopping by from SITS (and thanks for visitng Maneuvering Motherhood!)
Yeah, totally a guy thing ;-) Hopefully he'll remember from now on!!
ReplyDeleteJamie :)
Stopping by from SITS. I learned not to let them forget. I remind them pretty much constantly in the days leading up to it. Maybe even weeks! But a woman at work said her husband forgot. We'd gotten her a cake and I suggested she take the leftovers home to jar his memory but she said nope. She wanted him to forget. She said she'd wait until a couple of weeks afterward and then let him know...THEN he'd feel so bad he'd want to make it up to her.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we women do such things!
I would be very upset if my husband forgot my birthday. I understand though why you wouldn't make a big deal after 22 years of marriage and with your husband being the "plunger of toilets" - that should get him a lot of forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog.
Men! Reminds me how my husband can't fold the towels the way they've always been folded for the past 14 years we've been together.
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband used to forget my birthday all the time, but i could never wait for the end of the to see if he remebered. I would try every year but by noon i had to say something.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks everyone While I am sorry others' husbands have forgotten their birthdays, it's somewhat a relief to know I'm in such good company! Thank goodness for girlfriends! (And husbands, too, as I believe most of them are there when we really need them!)
ReplyDeleteJust reading this and it's funny I am because I was talking to friends today about how my husband has forgotten my birthday at least 4 times. A few times when he remembered I wished he had not. Like the time he gave me a pair on "really nice" knee pads because I had complained about how sore my knees were weeks before after cleaning a very large tile floor for a friend on my knees. Oh, and the time he bought me a bottle of Patron and then drank it all with his friends before I had a chance to touch it. You are so not alone. I hope you had a great day and I'm grateful for the facebook reminder.
ReplyDelete