Monday, August 17, 2009
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• You usually find yourself to be the most interesting and amusing person at a party.
• You've reached the age when you need to drag out just as many tools to prune and trim your face as you do your yard.
• You don’t make a habit of using Halloween as an excuse to dress as a skanky “French maid” or pirate wench with low-cut top, micro mini dress, fishnet stockings and four inch heels (such practical garb for cleaning or sailing the high seas!).
• You’re interested in a man who performs well in your flower bed.
• There’s no way you would go back to your 20s, unless you could take your current-day mind, heart and soul (and bank account) with you!
• You’d like to taser those who say you should just think of hot flashes as power surges. Such people probably think those with herpes should think of the condition as a reminder that somebody once found them attractive.
• You think wearing thong underwear makes as much sense as using a strip of scotch tape instead of a baggie to protect your sandwich.
• Life has taught you a lot, and you and look forward to learning even more… with Ungirdled Passion!
(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
just wiser. And more relaxed and fun. Oh yeah, and wealthier.
I like to think of myself as a visionary. I'm not, but I like to think of myself that way, so in anticipation of your questions, I've provided the following. Feel free to email me at vivahaha@cox.net if I forgot anything.
Q: What is you favorite weapon to use in a bar fight?
A: NEVER the cocktail I am holding. That is always a LAST resort. I’ll use whatever is closest to me, as after years of bar fights, I have learned to improvise – a pool stick, cocktail onions, a bar towel - you’d be amazed what I can do with those things - especially when I'm running low on estrogen.
Q: Hellman’s or Miracle Whip?
A: Duh. Duke’s mayo – always. The light version is also the best light mayo in my opinion.
Q: What should I get my mother-in-law for her birthday?
A: Anything from Making Happy! You can conveniently shop in the comfort of your home for handcrafted gifts and home decor MADE IN AMERICA at http://www.etsy.com/shop/makinghappy
Q: Which Darrin did you like the best on Bewitched?
A: Mmmmm. This has always been a hard question for me. Because the first Darrin, (Dick York, 1964-1969) was dorkier and seemed weaker and genuinely more panicked about Samantha’s powers, he didn’t make me quite as mad as Darrin #2 (Dick Sargent, 1969-1972) whenever Darrin got angry at Samantha for using her powers when he deemed it inappropriate. I’ve never quite gotten over the fact that they changed Darrins on us.
Q: Do you talk about Fight Club?
A: Never.
Men can have negative body images as well...its all about muscles and height. But you are right, it doesn't seem to bother them as much. I think fewer men have body image problems but when they do, it can be more severe/less understandable.
ReplyDeleteI needed to read that this morning. Thank you.
ReplyDelete:::visit from a SITSta:::
I wouldn't mind being a little more like men in how I view my body. Except I don't want nose hair.
ReplyDeleteI friggin LOVE your blog!
ReplyDeleteHoundsGood - you're probably right.
ReplyDeleteJayne - thank YOU for visiting.
Debbie - I don't want nose hair, either, but it was there to welcome me to my 40s a while back!
Nunpuns - thanks so much!! Love your Nun Pun artwork!
Excellent post, but . . .
ReplyDelete“What you women need to understand is, to us men, God did not create a single ugly naked woman. Only beautiful ones.”
Who IS this guy? And why didn't I marry him?! ;)
Love it - you're so right! It's the only way I think we women need the benefit of more testosterone. I often think this is old old stuff we're just carrying through the generations, from the times when we needed to compete to get the benefit of the resources needed for surviving, mostly controlled by males. This is the generation that gets over it, imo :)
ReplyDeleteSandy, with all the hair I am now sprouting from places hair should NOT grow, I think I may have latched onto some more testosterone! Thanks for visiting and commenting!
ReplyDeleteI want to be the best I can be. And I know I am, because tomorrow I will only be worse.
ReplyDelete